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Speak Lord,your servant is listening

Reflecting on the year 2015, I asked myself what was most profound and what stood out in my life. I mean, 2015 was not an easy ride. It was stress: financial difficulties,emotional stress at my job, serious procrastination, struggles with my autistic son, adjustments in family life and the list goes on. It was a year of struggles and I was ready to sign it off as a bad one. This was until I asked the Lord to speak.

This was when I turned my prayer to the specifics of my life and was determined to put him first......therefore like Samuel I prayed: Speak Lord, what do you want of me, what do you want to teach me, what was the meaning of all these struggles in 2015, your servant is listening.

It was on the 28th November, 2015 that I prayed and two thoughts came to mind:

  • The soul of Christ will sustain you
  • Love your God with all your  heart and soul

I believe that in the past I was not totally true to myself, in fact I think my level of trust and belief in God was not what it was supposed to be. Don't get me wrong, I prayed everyday, went to church and tried to live the christian life: reading my bible, praying for others,visiting the sick etc. However, as I was to discover, the level of my belief was not one of operating in the spirit of sonship but one of operating as an orphan where I thought that my "good actions" will alone "please " the father. In short I was relying on myself instead of Him. However, this was not the revelations of 2015.

See my friend's testimony on sonship healing :http://www.elmalarsen.net/home/miracles/sonship-healing

The truth is that he sustained me in 2015. The struggles are the highlights of how his glory and grace guided me throughout the year. He was my foundation, strength and will for 2015. The truth is, when I started to listen to his voice, the reality of how he sustained me during the year became clearer:

  • When I did not have money for my son's therapy sessions, the money came in time to pay each month.....one such experience was a day I walked into the bank to use the ATM to pay for my son's therapy.While parking I saw my brother next to ATM talking to his friend, I was surprised to see him at that hour for he is always busy doing tours. After greeting him I went to the ATM to withdraw $1000 and to my dismay, there was no money to withdraw. My account was 0.00 and I was lost. How was I to get this money?. When I came out my brother was still there, I guess seeing my face he asked what happened and I told him. He immediately gave me the money.
  • When I could not continue with my part-time job for extra cash..I got an opportunity that allowed me to work part-time for one day per week and earn enough to buy groceries every week.
  • When I had several surprise car troubles, I always had money at hand to deal with the problem.
  • Somehow I am able to pay my bills
  • Though I had limited amount of money this Christmas, my family and  I was most contented and it was really enjoyable minus the fuss and anxieties that usually grip us each year.
Even when I consider the difference in my attitude, I see so many changes:
  • I am a calmer person
  • I have more patience
  • I have more confidence in myself
  • Much bolder: I actually created a blog to share about Jesus.
  • There is more love and peace in the family
Yes when I listened, I heard the truth. It was not the lie that my year was bad, but the hardships were meant to increase my faith and produce perseverance. James 1:2 comes to mind.

Thank you Lord for your patience with me, it is more that I can ask for. Praise your Holy Name.

O' I found out why I was having financial challenges-it lies in the second thought I got. Love your God with all your heart and soul. To be continued in 2016


God Bless
Felix


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